Cat's Kinky Birthday
by FourHourShower
Summary: It's Cat's birthday! And to celebrate, Cat, with a little help from her friends from Hollywood Arts High, makes Sam her slave for the night. And, as Sam is going to find out, Cat Valentine has a lot of strange "activities" planned for the party. Sam & Cat/Victorious crossover! Steamy Puckentine scenes! X-rated and Kinky. Strictly 18-plus.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: The following is an erotic comedy. Chapters 1 & 2 build up the story. The actual "risqué" scenes with all the sexy debauchery don't begin until chapter 3, so head on over there if you're some crazy pervert.. or just the impatient type. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Cat's Kinky Birthday**

 **Chapter 1**

Cat Valentine wakes up excitedly, with a big, bright smile on her face. As she sits up in her bed, she wonders what sort of birthday present she will get from Sam today. Now she can't wait to find out.

Cat looks across the bedroom, and notices Sam is not in her bed. Sam's bed is just an empty mess of wrinkled sheets and mismatched pillows.

Cat, with her finger pressed to her lips, starts thinking, and instinctively jumps up and starts snooping around in Sam's messy bed, looking for any sign of a present. She throws around Sam's bedsheets and comforter in a manic panic, and checks under Sam's pillow. Nothing. She pulls the pillow out of its case and shoves her hand inside. _Still_ nothing. She then checks under the bed, and with a confused, horrible look on her face, pulls out a badly broken hockey stick. No present _here_ either.

Cat heads to the living room. She's expecting the house to be at least decorated for her birthday. But it's _not_. Getting a little worried, Cat begins to snoop in the kitchen cupboards, looking for a gift, a card, a clue, ANYTHING. She doesn't see anything.

But she _does_ see the front door suddenly open across the living room, and sees Sam walk in carrying a big white paper tub of fried chicken.

"Oh hey Cat!" calls Sam from the living room.

"Oh...Hi Sam. I didn't realize you were out." replies Cat, awkwardly pretending like she wasn't snooping for a present.

Sam sits on the living room couch, holding the big white paper tub of chicken in her bosom tenderly like a baby. Sam reaches one hand into the tub, and pulls out a crispy deep fried chicken puck. Sam munches on it, savoring the warm chicken pucky juices, staring happily at the TV with a smile, thinking about absolutely nothing at all.

Sam swallows the delicuous mouthful of salty, oily chicken, and presses another chicken puck to her teeth. Until, from the corner of her eye, she notices Cat just standing there, sternly, with her arms crossed, staring a hole right through her. Holding a chicken puck to her teeth, Sam awkwardly turns her head slowly to face her stern looking pink haired roommate.

"Did you FORGET something?" asks Cat, half sarcastically and half angrily.

"Uhh..." Sam fishes through the bucket in her arms, and pulls out a little plastic packet... "Nope. I GOT the dipping sauce."

"I suppose there's nothing in that bucket for ME?" presses Cat.

"Hmm..." Sam reaches into her bosom bucket. "Uhh... let's see. There's..." Cat's face lights up with excitement, until Sam slowly, and flatly, reveals "...this puck. ... Of _chicken_."

Cat puts her hands on her hips with a frustrated grunt. Cat can feel her blood begin to boil.

"Hey, remember what we did on _your_ ... BIRTH day?" Cat asks ruefully, emphasizing 'BIRTH' with that raspy exacerbated tone of voice she uses when she gets mad.

"Uhh... no. What did we do on my... BIRTH day?" Sam mocks.

"Oh... I dunno... Oh YEAH! I REMEMBER! I made you breakfast, then I got you nunchucks, and then, and then..."

Sam looks at Cat, expectantly.

Cat gulps, uncomfortably, speaking softly with a tone of regret, "I let you do... horrible.. things to my body."

"HAH! Oh yeah!" Interjects an amused Sam, slapping her thigh. "Woooo... that night was currrraaayyyzzzee..."

"Yeah. A real barn burner." replies Cat, sarcastically and angrily. "A real hootenany."

Sam suddenly clues in "...Wait... it's your birthday TODAY"?!

Cat gasps, looking mad that her best friend even had to ask.

"Uhh.." fumbles Sam. "I mean... It's your BIRTH day today! HAPPY-"

"YOU DIDN'T GET ME A PRESENT! ... **_DID_** you!" Cat explodes

"What? Sure I did!" Sam tries to think and talk at the same time. "It's uh.. just uh... a SURPRISE!"

"A surprise?"

"Oh, YEAH. A real hooter nanny." Sam says, while awkwardly nodding her head.

Sam drops a half-eaten chicken puck back into the bucket.

"In fact," continues Sam, "you just reminded me. Now's a good time to check up on that... _surprise_. You know? Just to make sure it's good and ready for... uh... TONIGHT!"

"Tonight?"

"...Yes...! Tonight. I'll be right back."

Sam hands the Tubba chicken to Cat, pats her on the shoulder and quickly heads to the door.

"You better not be just picking up something at the last minute!" calls Cat from across the room.

"Me? Why, I'd NEVER do that!" Sam goes out the door, mumbling furiously under her breath out of earshot.

Cat picks up a half eaten chicken puck, with a gross look on her face.

"Dumb puck."


	2. Chapter 2

**Cat's Kinky Birthday**

 **Chapter 2**

Just down the street, Sam is furiously pacing up and down the sidewalk, nervously, and _loudly_ talking to herself.

"Come on. Think, Puckett, _think!_ What's the surprise? What's the surprise? Okay, Cat likes... Cat likes... akkhhh... _stuffed animals!_ Okay, that's GOOD. Maybe I can... just... shower her with a bunch of ...fluffy, colorful stuffed stupid animals...!"

"Yeah, and why don't you get her a bib and a pacifier while you're at it?"

Sam looks up, wondering where the hell that girl's voice is coming from.

"Come on, Sam. Cat's all cutesy puke-sy but she isn't _twelve."_ It's Jade West, Cat's schoolmate from Hollywood Arts Academy (and from VicTORIous, of course). She's been walking up the sidewalk with a jet black gift bag in her hand and has now stopped to chat with Sam.

"Jade!" Sam's eyes light up. "Hey! Good to see you!"

"Do you always talk to yourself in public like a lunatic?"

"...n... not... always..." Sam replies with embarassment

"Hmm. That's too bad."

Sam makes a confused face for a second, until her eyes suddenly light up with a bright idea.

"Hey! Jade, maybe you can help me! I'm stuck for a last minute..."

"...last minute birthday present for Cat. I know. Sure, I can help."

"Aww yes! That's GREAT! So what are you thinking? A jacket? A gift card?"

Jade snorts with amused contempt. "A _gift card?_ You don't know much about your roommate, _do_ you."

"Well, I know she fits into _jackets!_ And I know that CAT knows how to use a giftcard."

 _"Does_ she?"

"...Good point." Sam reconsiders, defeatedly.

"Look," explains Jade, "There is _one_ thing Cat wants more than anything for her birthday and only YOU can provide it."

"A noogie?"

"Close."

"A wedgie?"

"Getting warmer."

"A broken tibia?"

"Too far."

"Then WHAT?"

"REVENGE."

"REVENGE!?"

"REVENGE." Insists Jade.

"On _who?"_

"YOU!"

 _"YOU?!_ ... I mean... **_ME?!"_** implores Sam.

"That's right." Jade crosses her arms, looking tougher, meaner.

"What? _WHY?"_ pleads Sam.

"For what you did to her on YOUR birthday!"

"What did _I_ do?!"

"Don't act like you don't know, 'MAMA' " presses Jade, making "air quotes" with her fingers to mock Sam's self-monicker. "Come on! The nipple clamps. The bondage cuffs. The spankings. ...The freakin' BUTT PLUG for crying out loud!"

Sam's face starts turning red. "IT WAS HER IDEA!"

"The _butt_ plug wasnt."

"How do you know all this?"

"Cat told me."

"She TOLD you?"

"She tells me _everything."_ insists Jade.

"I can't believe her!"

 _"I_ can. See, you haven't known Cat for as long as I have. Cat and I go way back. And we know things about her that I bet even **You** don't know about."

"Wait, who's 'we'?"

Jade starts counting off with her fingers. "Let's see... there's... 'Tasty' Robbie, who you've met..."

Sam spits on the ground, remembering that time she kissed... nevermind...

Jade continues, "Then there's Tori, Trina, Andre..." Jade looks off to the side. "...and _Beck."_

"WHO?" Sam asks, looking confused.

A young man with long dark hair approaches Jade with two cups of Jet Brew coffee in his hands. "Here is your BLACK coffee.."

"Thanks, babe. Beck, meet Sam. Sam, meet Beck."

Beck's eyes narrow, and his finger points to Sam with his coffee still in his hand. "Sam... Then this is 'Mama' Sam, isn't it?"

"Ugggh! How do you kno...?"

"Cat Valentine told me."

Sam makes an annoyed grunt.

Beck asks Jade "So, have you told her yet?"

"Told me what?" Sam implores. Jade answers her quickly.

"Cat wants to grudge-fuck you."

Sam begins to choke up, having a sudden coughing fit.

Beck turns to Jade. "I thought you said she wanted to have an orgy with all of her friends for her birthday."

"She does." replies Jade, calmly. "But she wants to do them together. Orgy.. with a grudge-fuck for blondie here included with it." Beck nods his head, understandingly.

Without emotion, Jade and Beck calmly turn their heads to look at Sam, who is still having a coughing fit, gasping for air.

"I know, right?" Jade continues. "But it doesnt really surprise me. Maybe all of Cat's pink girly-girl exterior is just some ultra-innocent over-compensation for some... severely repressed... sexually deviant persona for all we know.

Jade nonchalantly takes a swig of her Jet Brew latte.

"Just sayin'."

As Sam tries to catch her breath and regain her composure, Andre Harris walks up the street and approaches them. Andre is Cat's, Jade's, and Beck's classmate from Hollywood Arts High School.

"Hey guys." calls Andre. "I guess we're all headed to Cat's house for her birthday huh?"

"Orgy tonight." declares Jade. "Blondie here is joining us."

"Sweet!" Andre smiles at Sam. Sam just looks annoyed.

Jade turns to Sam,

"So here's the deal." Jade explains, "Cat's fantasy is she wants us to kidnap you, humiliate you in front of all her friends, and make you her slave for the night. We all get to have our way with you... dominate you, hurt you, humiliate you, force you to cum, you know the drill." Sam makes a confused face with her hands turned up.

Jade continues "But Cat, at all times, is the boss. She's ultimately in charge and has the final say in what we do with you. You in?"

"Whoah whoah whoah whoah. This is all a bit too much too fast." protests Sam.

"We all know what we're doing." Assures Beck. "You'll be fine."

"Yeah! Cat and us? We've been doing this sort of crazy, kinky shizz together for years!" adds Andre. "...with eachother, with other people's original _characters..."_ Beck points at Andre with a knowing nod. "It's completely safe!"

"Do you even READ fan fiction?" Jade asks.

Sam begins to seriously consider doing this. "You know, it does sound kind of exciting."

"You'll be in good hands," adds Beck, "and you'll be completely safe at all times."

"AND you'll be free to use your safeword at any time." adds Andre.

Sam hesitates, thinking it over.

"AND..." Jade's voice lowers, calmly. "We promise you you'll have some of the best orgasms you'll ever have in your life. We'll make SURE of it."

"..." Sam hesitates. "... OH ALRIGHT! FINE! " agrees Sam. "Let's do this!... ... For Cat!"

"For Cat!" agrees Beck Jade and Andre.

Jade pushes herself up against Sam's body, and handcuffs Sam's hands behind her back.

"Do you always carry handcuffs in your pocket?" Sam asks, softly.

"...Try to." Jade says, with a knowing smile. Jade grabs Sam by the arm, and leads her away towards her car.


End file.
